Does he want a Nanny/Maid? or A spouse?
I’ve been married to a man w/ 2 Children of 2 previous relationships, less than a yr. We went through ALOT to be together, & i really do Like the kids ( i don’t have any of my own , so i see them as a blessing). At 1st everything was excellent , all like !. I would visit him before we got married & although he claimed his place was “spotless”, every time i would come in i would get a “wiff” of a dog smell. Not only that but clothes would be “separated” into piles for laundry according to him on the middle of the kitchen floor. But i would come in several times the same week & i would still see those piles. I know he was a single dad, but once we got married & i went in he would claim I was the messy one. I don’t know if i take care of the kids while he is at work. By the time he gets home , the house is clean & food is made. I do laundry but don’t leave them in piles , I use laundry hampers! When he gets home & im washing dishes & doing other stuff, he is on the computer.My oldest stepdaughter has even witnessed that our room carpet will be nice & vacuumed & next thing you know, there are bottles of contact solution on the floor , his gym bag & other stuff. I am not perfect & i admit that my only fault is loosing focus, ill give you an example: (Im in the middle of moping the floor after a shower (because as a women w/ long hair we know some hair ends up in the floor), then my youngest stepdaughter (2yrs ancient) has an accident in her diaper. After my husband is listening to & seeing everything , he doesn’t bother to say ” keep doing what your doing, ill change our daughter’s diaper”.So that is where i loose focus on keeping track of everything & everyone. I’ve even questioned my neighbors but , i truly reckon I’m not the messy one..or if im incorrect give me your opinion
Comments
Youre a fool for raising someone elses kids when he doesnt even appreciate it, a fool, you need to quit making those choices
What ever he wants, you are letting him get away with it.
Stop !
Make him pitch in, or else leave it or leave him
I reckon you’re letting it go. You have all this frustration building up, and you’re going to explode.
Talk to him. Question him to pitch in more. I’m a SAHM mom too, but that doesn’t mean that my husband just gets a free pass on keeping the house clean. Figure out what works – it doesn’t take much to pick something up and place it into the trash.
Address him and listen to him. We have a no computer rule in our house if we’re both home while the kids are awake. That means we’re both helping out.
But really, talk to him. If you don’t, you may as well find a marriage counselor now.
So, they say HEY ya CLOD, I’m busy here can you change YOUR baby’s diaper, huh? It’s YOUR KID, I shouldn’t have to question you, I’m NOT your DAMN MAID ya know?
Just shut up and do what he says. If you tried to pull this back in the excellent ol days you would have be decapitated. Make him sandwiches and bring him beer and every once in a while blow him and it all work out. you’re welcome.<3
He’s a slob. Flat out I agree with that. If it’s his things on the floor. Clearly it’s his mess.
But-you knew that going into the marriage. So,one of two options here. You can talk to him about it. Calmly. Explaining that you’d appreciate a small effort in keeping his things clean. Or live with it and end up resenting him over dirty clothes.
You’re the maid and nanny….. except he doesn’t have to PAY you
I reckon you are NOT the messy one and I reckon his behavior is common. Have a roommate who does the same thing. It seems you need to sit him down and have a talk. Be sure to not sound like you have a clipboard with a tally somewhere. It’s not about who is right and who is incorrect but about what he can do to help make it as spotless as he claims he is. He also has a responsibly to the kids but again I would make sure it doesn’t sound like its not your job too.
I know and sympathize with you. He sounds like a chauvinist and he needs help.
Go to a counselor! If he won’t then you need to by yourself.
Let him know how you feel or get out!
I knew a guy like him and he never changed even after a separation!
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